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You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.
To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.
Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.
When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.
So when he proposed, I said yes, even though I knew I wasn't ready. We've had talk after talk about how I need more physical affection and he claims he's crazy in love with me. OH was asleep at the time, so I tried waking him up with kisses down his back. Turn cold shoulder, I'm tried I'm sleepy oh my head hurt this and that. Is it even possible once we've drifted so far apart? If he doesn't want sex ANYMORE he should talk to me about it and be honest! It is my fault I strayed after 19 years of sexual neglect...