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I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.
The below is a list of some of the themes and commonalities observed.
The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time.
They are also raised with strong family and community values, so there is a sense of responsibility and accountability for others, not just for the self.
American culture raises children to be fiercely independent and to look out for ‘number one’.
American men will rush to get you in bed as quick as possible, while European men don’t appear to have the same rush (or desperation). European men don’t ‘date’ – in the formal way that Americans are used to.
The types of dates seen in movies – the formal ask, the fancy dinner and the entire dance that ensues simply doesn’t exist in the European mindset, in fact, the word “dating” isn’t even a part of their lexicon. Unlike American culture, where there’s almost a rite of passage which takes two people from “hooking up” to “seeing each other” to “dating” to “exclusive”, these labels just aren’t a focus or concern for European men. Rather, the mentality is, “I like you, I want to see you, and if it’s enjoyable, let’s keep seeing each other”.
The dynamic may or may not move into a serious relationship, but they are not trying to gather other options or back up plans in case it doesn’t. Americans (both men and women) have been socialized to play games, to act unavailable, to wait a particular amount of time before texting back…