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More on Redbook:18 most annoying male habits, explained51 days of new outfits (for less than 0!)100 easy celebrity hairstyles43 sneaky tricks to look younger26 fun, cheap date ideas We have not spoken on the phone, but that's normal when you meet online.

Here I give you a list of ten online “cheater” websites.

By definition, Ashley Madison, a dating site for cheaters, is a disreputable place. Your first impulse may be to throw your arms up in rage and condemn its members, the ones trawling for an affair or the chance to talk dirty in an instant message. I set out to ask married men on the site not only why they cheat, but why they do it so boldly, admitting their recklessness and confessing their betrayals on the Internet as though their morality and fidelity were items up for auction on e Bay. I say I'm scared to live the rest of my life with unexplored desire. There are the ones who just want to meet to have sex; you can tell because their handles are direct and uncomplicated: Yours4Lust and Deep Passion Man.

He says he likes it rough, and tells me he cheated for the first time a few months ago. A male writer meets with one Biderman is right about types like F., but wrong that all the men on Ashley Madison want sex and sex alone. "Either way," he says, "it's driving me crazy." What's terrible is that H. The woman he is thinking of cheating on is still only his fiancée.

He was in Vegas for a bachelor party, and he took a girl from the blackjack table upstairs to his room. There are plenty of men like B., who says he is happily married when what he really means is he is complacently bored. He says she's as close to perfect as any man could hope for, but it's clear he's conflicted.

To get started, I create a profile with a fake name and a dark picture of myself and chart a plan. Then I'll meet a few of them for a drink, but there will be no drunkenness. The rest of what I say is mostly true, and to weed out the more aggressive guys, my tone comes off as exploratory, not sexual. They list measurements and ask for yours, as though it's merely a matter of fitting one puzzle piece into another. Instead, I respond to the thoughtful ones, whose tales might help answer my questions.

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