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I was already holding it in my hand, so I held it gingerly for quite a while, before daring to put it down on the coach.

It flashes in a nice way, and within seconds you know for certain that the nice flashing isn’t connected to what’s actually going on in any way.

In another few seconds (thank God I’m doing this on a speedy machine) the program tells me, in a nice font, “Update your phone and get the latest software”, and lets me choose between “Start” and “Quit”.

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I took the only natural course of action – I decided that enough was enough and unplugged my phone.“Soft” and “hard” power buttons Hopefully you, dear reader, will never experience the trauma of pressing a “soft” power button and receive no response from the device in question.

People feared me from the moment they hear my name.