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I put it all on him—he had made a choice to cut me out of his life swiftly and mercilessly. However—and you probably already realized this as you were reading—I could have reached out, too. He hurt me deeply and I found a way to protect myself going forward.

I could have texted him, called, or sent that letter. Transitioning from feeling as if I was “holding out” by not getting in touch to making a self-care choice took some time. To be totally honest the only proof I have is in hindsight.

He taught me about beer, and I taught him a little French. That was almost two years ago, and we never saw each other, spoke, or texted again.

A full-on communication stop after a breakup is rare these days. adults surveyed, more than half said that they had tried to stay friendly with an ex, even if they also said that a full communication stop is better after a breakup.

Yet every day someone breaks up with someone else in a hurtful, dismissive way, and the one who gets hurt carries that frustration into their next romantic encounter.